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I need to work out more often and I need to drink more water every day. I can feel the cumulative effects of stress and aging on my body. I can feel the winter coming, the absence of moisture in my skin. I know I need to work out. I know I need to drink more water. In some moments I remember to do these things and I also make time to do them. When those two elements come together change happens…but habits take more than happenstance and hit or miss. I know these things are important and I still turn away from them.

I need to get to Liturgy more often and I need to move toward God every day. I can feel the cumulative effects of stress and worry on my spirit. I can feel the winter coming, the absence of prayer on my dry, cracked lips. I know I need to get to Liturgy. I know I need to move toward God. In some moments I remember to do these things and then I also make time to do them. When those two elements come together change happens…but habits take more than happenstance and hit or miss.

I know these things are important and I still turn away from them.

Paul’s struggle was, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” My struggle is a different flavor. I do not want to do what I ought to do. I do not do the things which will feed me and house me and fill me up and that is what I hate…but I’m working on it.

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©2021 by Angela Doll Carlson