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The thing about cavities…

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. -Romans 7:15-17

In the back of my head I know the logic is flawed but on the surface of things, eating that whole bag of english toffee made perfect sense. The faster I eat it the less chance I’ll be tempted every day by it as it sits there, taunting me from its perch on the shelf. I think to myself, “it’s better like this” and “I’m doing a great service to the rest of the family removing this here candy.” All the while, I know it’s silly but I do it anyway.

Unrelated to this line of toffee logic, I’m sure, is the reality that I probably have a cavity starting up. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the dentist because I hate going to the dentist and because I don’t take care of myself well enough. I can feel the pain once in a while in that back tooth, in one the wisdom teeth that came in without fanfare a number of years ago. I tell myself that if God didn’t want us to have wisdom teeth He would not have made them so I don’t have them taken out and as long as they don’t cause me trouble, I feel justified in letting them stay.

When the pain creeps up a little I brush that tooth soundly and then I get the fluoride mouthwash out and rinse it well enough. Mostly, that stops it for a while. I read somewhere that cavities can heal. I tell myself that’s what’s happening, even as I eat the rest of the toffee from the cabinet with my weird, flawed logic hammering away at my “you ought to know better” button.

This hole in my tooth has been a long time in the making. Because the wisdom teeth sit under the gumline for so long, they’re vulnerable. It was a cavity before it began to hurt and it’s a cavity still, when I stave off the pain. And it’s a cavity before I can see it there in the back of my mouth. Though the tooth was vulnerable already when it first greeted the other teeth in the community, it really never stood a chance with the flawed logic of my secret candy eating manuever. It really is the most vulnerable parts of us that bear the brunt of our bad choices, I suppose.

#cavities #badhabits #dentist #confession #englishtoffee