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first steps…

I’ve attended my first Orthodoxy 101 class. I know that I already know most of this. I am at once encouraged and discouraged. I look around the small table of people sitting and listening. The priest, Father G is very kind. He’s young, passionate about the faith.  He keeps stopping in his instruction, asking for questions. We all stare blankly.

There is a sweet young couple sitting next to me, they identify themselves as being raised Baptist, not practicing.  The couple to my right has a little girl with them. They’ve been attending these classes “a while” they tell me.  Their little girl runs in small circles in and out of the chairs in the room.

A man joins in as we’re getting started. He looks like a student to me, he has that student gait and posture about him. He sets his very solid bible on the table and quietly sits in.

A few others trickle in after we’re begun. I never find out who they are or how they came to be here. They are not new to this group, though, this much I can tell.

I’m discouraged because I realize that my need is not only knowledge but also practice and also community.  It’s hard for me to be here without my family, without my husband. We’re having lots of talks about this, D and I. He’s supportive of my figuring it out. He’s not ready to come with me, I trust the One who made us both has got that covered.

After the meeting I talk with Father G. He agrees that perhaps the 101 class is not where I’m at…maybe I can test out of 101 and move to 200 level classes.  He suggests I come to services. I want that…and I’m committed at our current church. My commitment is to my friends in that church and to the sunday school class I help to teach.

I am so divided…so impatient.  If there is one thing I know….it’s that impatience will be my undoing.  God waits. Orthodoxy isn’t going anywhere.

So, I order some books suggested by a mentor…I pray every day the Jesus Prayer and I move as I’m able…