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Day Five: A Good Work

“He who began a good work in you
will be faithful to complete it.”
-Phillipians 1:6

We made the transition from homeschooling to “real” schooling this year for all four of the kids. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m the helicopter mom now. When we homeschooled I was all about adventure and self-directed learning and following instincts, sending them to “real” school has shown me to the be the utter control freak I always warn against. I check their grades online, I ask probing questions when they get home, I paw through all of the papers in the backpack always asking, “Is this all of it?” because I want more. I want to be deeply involved in their lives. I want that because I love them and care for them and want them to succeed but also because of that control freak thing and that part, I confess, is about fear.

When we started homeschooling it was about having the ability to go where we want, when we wanted, to not be tied to the normal routines and the rules everyone else had to follow. We wanted the kids to develop and play for as long as possible and they did. It was great while it lasted. But we came to a point where my teaching and my oversight just was not enough. My patience was worn thin, my ability to follow through had disintegrated. I was becoming angry and bitter, resentful. I am human like that. We had to let something go before I let go of everything I loved about parenting.

It was a good decision and all four of them are finding their way as I learn to not obsess about that which is outside of my control. It means trusting them, trusting me, trusting the decision and the teachers and the One who made us. There is a balance that comes in this, a holy and sacred balance of holding on and letting go, supporting and lifting up and learning to see how it all unfolds with the benefit of trust and time.

It’s comforting to know that God represents the very best version of this, the perfect parent, the wise Creator. This “good work” that’s been started in us by the One who made us, all “good works” strike that balance, that holy and sacred balance, walking alongside as we grow and change and learn and dream.

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